Sunday, December 8, 2019

#DayOne


There is a constant question that I have been encountering for the last two years from all who know me- why aren’t you writing anymore? Fair question, and yet a tough one to answer, because I do not have one. Be it my parents, my school friends, the closest friends who have constantly read my writings and encouraged me with feedback, the college friends who have discovered my blog which feels stagnant for want of new content- all of them want to know why I stopped writing at some point in the past. Though, I answer to my defense, unconvincing for both me and the questioner, that I will start soon, that I am busy, that I lack the time after a busy day, and a hundred other useless excuses, I have reached that point where I take away the people and just take in the question.

Why am I not writing anymore?

Ten year-old me would frown highly disapprovingly at this almost twenty-year old me letting go of something that was so dear to her childhood. It makes me smile fondly at the thought of how this blog began as a small, unconscious journey in the summer vacations of 2010 to simply write about what I loved doing. Our school had the concept of writing reviews for the books read in our school library. It was a simple, and interesting format. My father, seeing me read one book after another, lost in the classic world of fiction, introduced the concept of a blog to me. It was new, it was fascinating and it was brilliant. I did not have to restrict my narration of what I loved in those books to just my parents, but could share it with the whole world. And, I could record every book I read!

I remember the pre-condition laid by my father when I agreed to the exciting idea of a blog- to get twenty-five posts written and ready before creating a blog. And, then I started writing a review in the same format as my school library provided, and within no time, I had twenty-five posts ready. It all started with a very sincere, childish review of The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. And, then, there was no stopping the enthusiastic girl for the next five years. Until even 2016, I had my blog going with at least a couple of posts a month, even during my high school years.

What was expected was that, my writing would grow again and reach a peak after I enter college. Did that happen? Nope. What happened, why not? No reason. Or maybe there were reasons. One, my utter laziness? Two, my disinterest in writing? It makes me shudder to think of the second reason, because if you take writing away from me I’d sit wondering of what else I have.

Looking through my blog, I can see me grow. Be it my writing, the books I read, the activities I did, the blog reflects the gradual growth in age and skill. Reflecting, I realize that the writing was that of a 10 year old, obviously childish and filled with heart-warming errors, but the effort was not. And through the years, my writing shaped into something much finer, but today I realize that 10-year old me was a thousand times better in her efforts.

Pause. Let’s not spiral down a path of self-pity as to what has become of the last two-years. There’s still a chance to reach that ‘peak’ within my college years. And, that is by starting. Not today, not tomorrow, but now.

A post a day, is a challenge that my dad has been proposing to me for years now. And, I think 2020 is a good year to see that materialize. Since, I seemed to have no reason to have stopped writing, I decided to give myself a heads-up and get into the habit. So, here’s my #Day1 with a little bit of self-reflection.

Thanks to all those who constantly embarrass me by badgering on what happened to my blog. Thanks to my Dad for introducing me to something brilliant, and also warning me not to lose it.

An optimistic Sandhya (do I see a faint smile on the ten-year old?), wrapping up with a smile, and looking forward to #Day2.

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